P.S
This Blog post stressed me out writing it and it is long.. sorry
This
post will go perfect with current and previous situations that have happened to
me, recently I was in a public area with lots of people and I freaked out.. of
course. But leading up to that through out the day I knew I was going to be in
an area with lots of people. So about 30 minutes leading up to it I started to
panic a bit but I didn't tell anyone until it was too far gone, then I
proceeded to the place with lots of people and at the time was a restaurant in
niagara falls, ontario and so as I was walking to it with my family I started
to panic a bit more and at this time I was trying to stop it but it wasn't
working out well. I sat down with my family and the waiter took our drink our
and brought us bread with butter and cold waters to start. By now I was
starving and so I ate some of the bread and I thought that If i ordered an
alcoholic drink that I would settle down.. WRONG it made things worse as well
at that time I was in pain because of a monthly gift.. fml so nothing was going
well at this point and I knew I needed to calm down before this got out of
control in a public setting. So I ordered my food and was drinking my cosmo and
I was feeling worse and worse but I just thought to keep drinking and it will
numb everything.. nope. So once the food came I was feeling as if i had to
leave and this was my Birthday Dinner with family I didn't want to have to
leave the table but it got to be too much and when the food came I was not
hungry at all and that is what Anxiety does.. it suppresses your appetite. So I
was starving when I got the restaurant and Anxiety strikes and I was no longer
hungry and I hadn't eaten that much during the day with it being my Birthday I
should of though. Once I felt it was too much I said I needed to step out of
the restaurant for a minute to calm down so my dads GF came with me and she
understands all of this. So I went out into the mall away from the restaurant
and it was full of people which didn't help things but I decided to walk around
with her for a few minutes just to figure out what was going through my mind. I
did go back to the restaurant and sit down and I nibbled on my food but was
completely not hungry now, I decided that the alcoholic drink wasn't going to
help anything so I switched to water a safer choice. I did take a pain killer
once I got back to the table and once my mind knew I was going to not be in
pain anymore I was fine.. Its like nothing happened.. I chatted with family and
enjoyed the rest of the meal and then all I wanted to do was leave and go walk
around the falls, after we left I needed to change shoes as they were
hurting my feet so I went with my dads GF to the car and I was still panicking
a bit after we changed shoes I met back up with them and we walked around the
falls and I slowly started to settle down and enjoyed the rest of the night.
Once I got home I thought well nothing was going to happen why on Earth did I
freak out... I wanted a do over of my birthday Dinner.. lol but that wasn't
going to happen. Social Anxiety Sucks!
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